Yesterday was my 35th birthday and I found myself reflecting on the past year on what I did and what I accomplished. To really get my mind in the place that I needed it to be I decided that I would go for a drive, I think best when I'm driving. I'm sure that's true for most people.
I've been wanting to drive and get a little lost, go down a road I've never been down and see where it takes me. Seeing something new really inspires me and gets me into a different mind set, otherwise driving the same route I take to work and the grocery store just makes me think about everyday things, I needed to think outside of that space. So I got in my car and put on my favorites playlist and drove down a little side road that I've never been down before.
The combination of driving and listening to my favorite music and having the day off knowing that I don't have anywhere to be puts me in this magical mood where anything is possible. It's hard to describe but it lets my mind wonder freely. As I drove I took in the new scenery, it was gorgeous and inspiring at times and I started to think about what mattered most to me, what is important to me right now, and where do I want this life to take me.
Here is the list I came up with in no particular order...
Heath/Fitness: As I get older I feel older. My knees/hips and lately my hands ache. Dropping a few more pounds I'm sure will help, as well as making my body stronger. Last year when we were all home I lost 20lbs, I saw an opportunity and I started working out everyday. I need to get back to that. I've kept the weight off but I still have about 20lbs to reach my goal weight. My goal is to wear a bikini one of these summers!
Continue to build my relationship with my brother. After 30 years my brother John and I were reunited last year. I'm not going to go into too much detail because you can read about it when I start my third and final book in my Finding Solace Series.
Focus on relationships that bring out the best in me, that inspire me and lift me up. I've been thinking a lot about this lately because there are some relationships in my life that no matter how hard I try to fix or try to reach out and get nothing back, in the end I have to wonder if I should even try anymore. Relationships are a two way street, the effort has to come from both sides. I've spent a lot of time wondering what can I do to change this situation. What am I doing wrong? Did I do something to offend them? I've come to the conclusion that some people just want to be left alone, and that's fine, sometimes that what I want as well, but when your trying and trying and feel left out or not important in that relationship, sadly it's time to move on... Believe me I have some work to do myself. I'm horrible at staying in touch at times, life gets the best of me. I need to remember to slow down...
Give back. Be the reason someone smiles. I used to have chemo bags, Judy's Bags of Hope that I gave to cancer patients. Unfortunately Covid happened and I haven't done them. I'd like to do something that again, something in my community. I just need to think about how/what...
Invest in my future. I've been working a lot of overtime at work to try and pay some bills. My credit cards are paid off and now I need to focus on building our savings and 401k. I've got a good plan and my goal is that my husband and I can retire at 50. I think a lot about my future and how my husband and I will spend it, I want to make the most of it.
What kind of legacy do I want to leave? We all want to leave a piece of us behind and be remembered for something.
Last but no least, to stay focused on the here and now. I've spent a lot of time on this one in the last few years. I've let my past go, I've let a lot of stuff go. I've forgiven a lot to get to where I am today. Focus on what matters most and remember that work is just work, it's literally not the end of the world if you make a mistake. When I'm overwhelmed at work I stop and take a minute to think about my entire life as a whole and I'm reminded of how small that issue is compared to everything else. It's not worth the ten minutes of dwelling on the stress when there are more important things to focus on: the here and now. My other goal of focusing on the here and now was to spend less time on my phone. So many times I'm at a restaurant with my husband and I see a couple who are both on their phones, not interacting with each other but with other people. I make it a habit to leave my phone in the car. My husband and I just bought a kitchen table finally and instead of eating in the living room while watching a show we now eat at the table, no phones, no distractions. We talk about our day while music from my vinyl player plays our favorite songs softly in the background. I am no longer on social media, the best decision I've made. If I could I would go back to the old flip phones... maybe someday I will.
If you want to know what is important to you. Answer this question:
Where does your mind go when you wonder? Where your thoughts go, that's where your heart goes too.