When I was younger, I used to love rollercoasters. In fact, out of all of my siblings and I, I was the only one who would get on one so that meant that I had to ride with a complete stranger next to me. I remember going to Canobie Lake Park, every summer I lived there, I couldn't get enough. There was one rollercoaster that had all the loops and would send you upside down and I would ride it all day long. I loved the thrill, I loved the feeling of my stomach dropping, in that moment I felt alive. Unfortunately, as I got older I stopped riding rollercoasters and along the way I lost that thrill. I became an adult with responsibilities, I had to pay bills... I found the love of my life, we bought a house, got married. Life settles you in and you form daily routines that you do over and over and along the way you forget to ride that rollercoaster every once and awhile. You create a safe space, a safe comfort zone. Life happens and hit after hit you stop taking risks, you don't want to be scared but what I've learned is that you need to take risks, you need to feel scared because if you live your life in your comfort zone you aren't going to fully live your life!

I like being challenged, whether in my personal life or at work. I've found that if I'm not being challenged, it's not benefiting me anymore. If it's not inspiring me, it's no longer benefiting me. Life is short- I've known that most of my life but this past couple weeks with losing my younger brother it really hits you that life is short- we don't know when our time is up and if you've got things you want to do in life or places you want to see you can't wait to do them- you've got to do it now because you might not have the chance later in life. My mindset was, "Oh, I'll do it when I retire." I don't want to wait until I retire to live my life. That's 20+ years or so. Who knows if I'll be able to do all the things I want when I'm in my 60's, I'd rather do them while I can while I'm still (somewhat) young!

There's a lot of things I've been looking to change in my life, but I've procrastinated because I don't like change and it scares the crap out of me. I know if I don't make these changes, I'm only going to regret it and will only make me more unhappy. I've been wanting to get into better shape and start a healthier eating lifestyle, no not a new year's resolution- more like a better way of life in the long run. I've cut out sugar, I switched to tea instead of my coffee that I loaded with sugar and creamer, now I have my tea with my collagen and a cinnamon stick and that's it! I used to have sweetened iced tea at lunch, now I have unsweetened iced tea. I eat a lot of fruit and vegetables and I've been trying to cut out a lot of the processed foods I've been eating that I know are unhealthy for me, like the potato chips I used to love so much. Hershey chocolate has sugar free dark chocolate squares that I've been eating to get my chocolate fix. I drink mostly water. I've cut alcohol completely; it's just empty calories and I know in this time right now of grieving and being sad I know if I start again, I won't stop. I'll use it as a way to suppress my emotions. I drank my emotions before, and I can't do that again- I gained 40lbs. In the last year I've lost 30lbs and I have 13lbs to go until I'm at my goal weight! The next step is to get into my fitness routine to tone up.

I've started travelling a little bit and I plan to do a lot more of it! A few years ago I went to Nashville. Last November I went to Miami. I plan on making a list: 40 things to do before 40. One of the things on my list is to ride that rollercoaster again. Life is all about taking risks, not being afraid to fail, being scared and doing it anyways, getting out of your comfort zone and doing something different. If you fall, get back up and try again. In the end, what do you have to lose???